Ogg Benny, The Ettiquette Prefect

01

On Walking Past Someone

Fellow students,

Now that the height of the COVID pandemic is relegated to the history books, I find myself taking the fresh air on campus in the mornings before classes. And while on my walks, I have run into some students (freshmen and seniors alike) who also enjoy the natural setting of our beautiful alma mater. Unfortunately, a not-insignificant number of students deign not to even make eye contact with me, an appointed school prefect. This is unacceptable social behavior and must stop forthwith.

As a strong believer in the adage "what one fool can do, another can," I have taken the liberty of sourcing a demonstration of acceptable ways of approaching me (or any other school prefect [or any other person, I guess]). Please watch and forward to fellow students, as I expect a marked improvement in ettiquete on future walks.

How to Walk Past Someone

Best,

Ogg Benny

02

On the Insolubriousness of Expounding on One's Conquests

Don't do it, folks

Fellow students,

I was once subjected to sitting by a bore (and a boor) at study hall, who proceeded to show me a picture of a friend who had given him fellatio. And he smiled at me like I was supposed to give him a pat on the back and cry "good on you, old chap".

Resist the urge. Grip yourselves, fellow students. Not only will you fill your conversation partner with disgust and pity at your needy gambit, but if the news of your loose lips gets back to your partner-in-fellatio, you will not be getting another nosh.

Best,

Ogg Benny